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Stewart's Site

General Info


Germany 2003



The Olsen Twins

Travel Tips

Wierd Maths:  Pi The Infinitesimal

Henry II

The Black Rhinoceros

The Atomic Bomb



Stewart's Travel Tips

Call yourself a traveller? Pfft. You are all merely tourists. But to give you some help on your overseas journeys, The METS (Morrison Elite Travelling Squadron) have compiled this list of tips. ALL come from personal experience. The squad are as follows:

  • Stewart
  • Alastair
  • Fiona
  • Leonie

With Occasial appearances by:

  • Edna
  • Graeme

And now the tips, all from personal experience (If you have any queries, email me!):

  • Never ride a bike with wet hair. Especially at -6 degrees.
  • Don't delete the BIOS on your computer at the start of a 10 week overseas trip.
  • Never drink alcohol in a 3rd-World Country, especially the night before a six-hour bus trip.
  • Never Challenge anyone to a Glucose-tablet eating contest.
  • Never leave a hotel window open when it is snowing.
  • If you have any pressing commitments, don't strike up a conversation with a drunk Austrian Fireman.
  • Never stay at a hotel with more pet animals than rooms.
  • Never expect to cross Atlanta Airport in less than 45 minutes. Likewise for Munich Station.
  • Hot Dogs and Rollercoasters do not mix.
  • No matter how broke you are, never, NEVER eat Oreos for breakfast.
  • Avoid Balloon salesmen, especially Mormon ones.
  • Never underestimate the usefullness of a pink feather, especially at the Forbidden City.

But even elite travellers make mistakes, that is the fun part about travelling.  Here we have...

Quotes that the METS will not be repeating soon:

  • "It's OK, we don't need jackets, the snow will melt by morning"
  • "It isn't chicken-pox, it's just a rash"
  • "It's just a harmless Bison!"
  • "That resteraunt looks expensive, lets go to this one" (In Mexico)
  • "Cost? $ 10. But she assured me that they were genuine Calvin Klein."
  • "I am sure Australian Customs will understand."
  • "It's the Beijing subway, it cannot be that hard to understand"
  • "Ordering at Subway cannot be that hard, I just want a simple tomato roll."
  • "Why waste time in the resteraunt eating, when we can take tuna sandwiches with us?"