The Olsen Twins
Maths: Pi The Infinitesimal
The Black Rhinoceros
The Atomic Bomb
Stewart's Travel Tips
Call yourself a traveller? Pfft. You are
all merely tourists. But to give you some help on your overseas journeys, The METS
(Morrison Elite Travelling Squadron) have compiled this list of tips. ALL come from
personal experience. The squad are as follows:
With Occasial appearances by:
And now the tips, all from personal
experience (If you have any queries, email me!):
- Never ride a bike with wet hair.
Especially at -6 degrees.
- Don't delete the BIOS on your
computer at the start of a 10 week overseas trip.
- Never drink alcohol in a 3rd-World
Country, especially the night before a six-hour bus trip.
- Never Challenge anyone to a
Glucose-tablet eating contest.
- Never leave a hotel window open when
it is snowing.
- If you have any pressing
commitments, don't strike up a conversation with a drunk Austrian Fireman.
- Never stay at a hotel with more pet
animals than rooms.
- Never expect to cross Atlanta
Airport in less than 45 minutes. Likewise for Munich Station.
- Hot Dogs and Rollercoasters do not
- No matter how broke you are, never,
NEVER eat Oreos for breakfast.
- Avoid Balloon salesmen, especially
- Never underestimate the usefullness
of a pink feather, especially at the Forbidden City.
But even elite travellers make mistakes,
that is the fun part about travelling. Here we have...
Quotes that the METS will not be
- "It's OK, we don't need jackets,
the snow will melt by morning"
- "It isn't chicken-pox, it's just a
- "It's just a harmless Bison!"
- "That resteraunt looks expensive,
lets go to this one" (In Mexico)
- "Cost? $ 10. But she assured me
that they were genuine Calvin Klein."
- "I am sure Australian Customs will
- "It's the Beijing subway, it
cannot be that hard to understand"
- "Ordering at Subway cannot be that
hard, I just want a simple tomato roll."
- "Why waste time in the resteraunt
eating, when we can take tuna sandwiches with us?"
MORE COMING SOON!!!